How to Roll Your R in a Spanish Pet Name Without Embarrassing Yourself

First, a confession: I have heard people attempt a rolled R and produce something like a distressed moped. It is fine. It is a rite of passage. The Spanish pet names you want, like cariño, mi vida, corazón and mi rey, are mostly built to forgive you, because only a few of them demand a full trill. Start with those, and work your way up like an opera singer warming up before the aria.

Let us begin with corazón, which has a single R, the soft tap kind. Say koh-rah-SOHN, with the stress on SOHN, and touch the tip of your tongue to the ridge just behind your top teeth, one quick flick, like a bird's wing. It is the same movement you make in the middle of the English word butter, if you say it the American way. You already know this. You are already halfway there.

Now the brave one: the double R, as in cariño's cousin, mi rico or the pet name guerrero. This one is a trill. Here is a rehearsal trick: say the English phrase put it on, very fast, over and over, until the tt and d blur into a flutter. Then keep your tongue relaxed, breathe out steadily, and let the air do the work. The tongue does not push. It vibrates, like a flag in a breeze.

If it will not trill, do not panic and do not clench. Tension is the enemy. Try humming a little first, then let the hum open into the R. Practise in the shower, where nobody is judging and the acoustics flatter everything. Stress is your friend as well: ca-ri-ÑO, with the weight on the last syllable, gives your tongue something to hold on to while it figures things out.

And performance, because we are always performing: a failed trill, delivered with a laugh, is more charming than a perfect one delivered stiffly. Look at the person, grin, try again, and let them correct you. Being taught is oddly intimate. If you would like to practise out loud with someone patient, and slightly teasing, I am on TheFriend, ready to listen to your rolling R and applaud every wobble.

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